Mr. Scrooge – My Teacher!

Description

This is a play set in the Irish classroom of our grandparents and will be enjoyed by all.

Christmas is just around the corner. Mr. Scrooge N.T. is in no mood to celebrate, much to the annoyance of his class. Three Spirits visit the teacher one night and cause him to see the error of his ways. A terrible fate awaits him unless … This play has been updated and can be performed by 3rd to 6th classes.

SAMPLE OF OPENING:

Kim: Ladies, and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to 4th Class’ production of Mr. Scrooge N.T. I would like to point out the escape routes in case you are bored out of your skulls. The main exit is by the door here on my right. We do not recommend exiting by the window. We hope you enjoy the show.

                                                        Act I                                          

Renaldus: Jeepers! It’s freezing. I’m frozen to the bone!

Michael: Will it snow, do you think?

Renaldus: Wouldn’t it be great. Oh! Howya, Petal!

Michael: How’s it going, tulip!

Narrator: It was the coldest winter in living memory. Birds shivered on the bough, brass monkeys roamed the roads of Kilbride and slow-thinking ducks were ice-locked in frozen pools. The road to Dunboyne was a sheet of ice that only a Lexus could tackle. Igloos were being built in Hollystown. However, in the local Scoil Bhríde life carried on as normal.

Scrooge: Pull away from that radiator young Donnelly. If you’re not careful, you’ll stew the precious few brain-cells you have left. Besides, you’ll deprive the rest of our share of heat for the day. And how am I to dry my washing if you insist on hogging the heat?

Paul:But, Sir, I’m frrrreeezing. My fingers are turning blue.

Scrooge: Cold!? Cold!? You cold!? You don’t know the meaning of the word.

Paul: Cold. Adjective. Suffering from the effects of low temperatures.

Sapaitas: If only you would turn up the heating a little bit, Sir.

Scrooge: Silence! Oil cannot be wasted. A little cold never did anyone any harm. You’ll be all the better for it. Puts hair on your chest, it does.

Robyn: I’m not so keen on that, Mr. Scrooge.

Yvonne: We wouldn’t be so frozen if we didn’t have to take off our jackets. We are chilled to the bone in our school uniforms. Chilled to the bone, Sir. My Ma said we should be allowed to wear our jackets.

Scrooge: Well, your uniforms have to be seen. If we all went around in jackets, it wouldn’t be much of a school now, would it?

Tony: I feel it is my duty, Mr. Scrooge, as class rep, to point out that heating is a basic requirement.

Scrooge: I feel it is my duty to tell you to save your breath.

Robyn: I am getting chilblains where I never had chilblains before…

Scrooge: And I never said there was anything wrong with wearing a couple of jumpers and long johns inside your school uniforms. An extra spray of Lynx and no one would notice. Hah! Caught you Jack! Eating Taytos in school-time again. We can’t have that. Hand ‘em over straight away.

Jack: Crumbs! I was starving. You confiscated my popcorn at lunchtime.

Scrooge: A good thing too! We’d have CRUMBS all over the floor. The Healthy Eating policy clearly bans the eating of Taytos and pocorn.

Laura C. It doesn’t say anything about eating ham sandwiches. You confiscated them too. I never got them back.

Scrooge: NO more of that nonsense now. There are millions starving in the world and there you are whinging about a miserable ham sandwich. Mind you it wasn’t all that bad! Now, take out the homework notebooks and take down tonight’s obair bhaile. (Munches loudly on Taytos)

Class: Groan.

Tony: I feel it is my duty, Mr. Scrooge, as class rep., to inform you that this measure is one that is not likely to go do well with the class.

Scrooge: Ah! Give it a rest!

Josh: Ah! Have a heart, Sir! We’re getting our Christmas holliers tomorrow. Surely, you are not expecting us to do homework.

Scrooge: Christmas holidays! Hah! That’s what has the country ruined, holidays. I’ll have to heat my home for two whole weeks! The waste of it! The expense! Whoever had the bright notion of giving Christmas holidays must have been soft in the head. I mean, I’ll have to boil my own kettle twenty eight times in the next fortnight and use up four whole tea bags! Imagine!

Joe: You can’t give us homework!

Kim: The Muppets Christmas Carol is on the telly tonight, Sir! You just can’t set homework!

Scrooge: Just watch me…

Joe: Where is your Christmas spirit, Mr. Scrooge?

Scrooge: At home in the drinks cabinet with all the much-appreciated presents you gave to your beloved teacher last year. That is about the only good thing to be said for Christmas. It keeps me in socks, hankies and drink for the year. Never mind that Joe Duffy bloke, I’m expecting the same again this year. Remember, I’ll be having the parent-teacher meetings after Christmas and you wouldn’t want me saying anything nasty, would you? You all know the way to my heart by now…

Fiona: And I wouldn’t want to go there. Are you going to give us a party tomorrow, Mr. Scrooge?

Scrooge: Oh, yes. I have had a few words with Ryan over in Mace and I’ll have a lollipop for you all tomorrow. I will be selling them to you at a 50% reduction. Half-Price lolly Pops. Only €0.75 a pop! Ye can be looking forward to that now, a pháistí.

Niamh C.But they only cost 50p in the shop , Sir.

Scrooge: Listen here, now, I will be hand-picking the 31 largest lollipops myself. I can guarantee you good value. Now (Writing on Board) Gaeilge – Scéal – Préachta leis an bhFuacht, Maths 1 – 50 on page 67. English- 3 pages on Why I Like Winter. Now line up and we’ll be heading for home.

Jack:(To audience) All heart, he is. All Heart!

Paul: Janey, if you were dying for a transplant, you wouldn’t take it.

(Children line up and leave classroom area) 

 

……………………….and on it goes.

 

With the advent of interactive whiteboards, we decided that the play be published on CD in Microsoft Word forma, so that the script can be projected on the whiteboard during practice. In addition, this CD format enables multiple copies of the script to be easily printed off for the children. Dramatic amendments, embellishments and localisation can be made to the script, should you be so inclined.

MUSIC & SONGS: The choice of music is endless. From classical music overtures, to the songs taken from the Disney classics and screen productions of Scrooge, from pop & rock to the traditional and modern. You only have to select about 7 or 8 great songs to intertwine with the script, perhaps put in a couple of jokes from the class clown and you are ready for curtains up!

Have a wonderful production and as they say, break a leg!